I had a thought the other day.... Am I in denial of the reality we have in front of us or am I just trusting God? I have just felt really calm lately regarding Noah's condition. I mean, I shouldn't be calm. I should be stressed out, emotional, upset, afraid of the future... but for some reason I am not. Most days I feel a deep peace.
I have read the statistics on autism and it isn't pretty at all. Recovery is a small percentage, marriages most of the time fail, people go bankrupt, children never leave home and cannot care for themselves. The list goes on and on. I know that this may be our reality one day but I guess I am just NOT accepting this future for us. I REFUSE to become yet another statistic. I will continue to fight for Noah's recovery with every breath left in my body. I will continue to fight for my marriage and my health and our finances. I am not going to let this condition called AUTISM destroy our lives. I am choosing to live with JOY when I shouldn't be doing it. I am choosing this mindset every day. I am trusting that God will direct our steps when it comes to treatments and interventions for Noah. I am believing that God has a wonderful plan for Noah, and for my family and that He will use this horribly painful time in our lives for a deeper purpose.
I guess I am just trying to say that I am making a choice to have HOPE-- I am clinging to it. I have to believe that healing and recovery are possible for our little boy.
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